Five-Year-Old Turn-Taking during a Learning Game

Make a turn visible and fair

A learning game can give two players a reason to take turns, but “wait until it is your turn” is much easier to follow when the action and its ending are clear. In the game below, each person chooses one shape and places it on a matching outline. One choice and placement make a turn.

The skill is communicating whose turn is happening, recognizing its end, and responding to a change in order. A child can speak, point, move a piece, or direct a partner. The goal is not to make a child wait for an unlimited time or surrender a personal belonging.

What you need

Draw a large circle, square, and triangle on a sheet of paper. Make matching paper pieces, or use safe shapes already available. An adult can cut the shapes; the child does not need to handle scissors. Make pieces large enough to see and handle comfortably for everyone present.

Add two large turn markers with different symbols, such as a dot and a star. Each player chooses one marker. A strip of paper can hold the markers in order. If markers are inconvenient, point to the current player and say their name instead.

Agree on the action

Explain the game before beginning: “On your turn, choose one shape and place it on its outline. Then the next person chooses one.” Demonstrate one placement and return the piece to the starting area. Invite the child to ask for a different action or an accessible way to participate.

The action should have a visible end. Placing one shape is clearer than “play for a little while.” If a participant needs the adult to move the piece, their selection still counts as the turn; the adult is carrying out the chosen action.

Choose who begins

Ask who wants the first turn. If both players want it, offer a concrete agreement: one starts this round and the other starts the next, provided both accept the plan. Put the markers in the agreed order and point to the first one.

A child may suggest that the adult starts or that both place a piece together. A shared first placement can be a useful introduction, although it is a joint action rather than two separate turns. Afterward, explain the order for any individual turns.

A sample first round

Adult: “Your marker is first. Choose one shape.” Child: “The circle.” Adult: “You chose the circle. Where does it go?” The child places it on the circular outline, or indicates where the adult should place it. Adult: “The circle is on its outline. My turn is next.”

The adult moves the turn marker to indicate the change, chooses the square, and places it. The child can then choose the triangle if another turn is wanted. If the child prefers to stop before every outline is filled, the game can end there.

Show the end of a turn

When the chosen shape reaches its outline, name the completed action: “You placed the triangle.” Then indicate the next marker: “Now it is my turn.” Give the next player access to the remaining pieces. The marker supports the agreement but does not replace the spoken or gestured explanation.

If a piece slips or needs adjustment, ask the player whether they consider the placement finished. The purpose is not to snatch the piece at the first touch of the page. Agree on a practical end that the players can see and understand.

If both want the same piece

Suppose both players want the circle. The adult can describe the situation: “You want the circle, and I wanted it too.” If the child has the first turn, they may place it first. On the next round the adult can start, or the players can agree to return the circle to the pile and use it again.

Do not promise the circle will be available later if the game is about to end. A second circle, a drawing, or a different activity may be alternatives if the players want them. The important part is a clear agreement, not a rule that every desired object must be shared.

If a child reaches during another turn

Pause the action and describe whose turn is underway: “I am placing the square. When it is on the page, you can choose a piece.” Show the square and its nearby outline so the end is visible. If the child wants help waiting, offer a marker to hold or a choice of what to do next.

If the child takes the piece, avoid assuming an intention. They may have misunderstood the end of the turn or wanted to help. Ask, “Did you want to help me place it, or do you want the next turn?” Respond to the answer and adjust the plan if necessary.

When the turn takes longer than expected

A player might need extra time to compare the outline with a piece. Acknowledge that work and keep the waiting player informed: “We are finding where the square goes.” The waiting player can observe, choose which piece they want next, or ask for help.

If the task is too difficult, ask the current player whether they want a hint, want a partner to move the piece, or want to choose a different piece. The adult should not end the turn solely because another player is impatient. The group can also stop and choose a different game.

Offer a way to ask for help

Agree on a phrase or signal such as “Help, please,” a raised hand, or a symbol on a communication board. A player can use it when the next turn is unclear, a piece is out of reach, or they want to change the plan. The adult responds to the request rather than treating it as an interruption.

If two children need help at once, name each request and give a concrete response: “I will move the page closer, then I will help find the triangle.” Do not promise an immediate turn that the group cannot provide. A visible plan can reduce uncertainty without requiring silence.

A choice for the person waiting

The next player can choose a shape in advance, point to the matching outline, or simply watch. Ask which option they prefer. Avoid assigning a separate task as a punishment for wanting the shared piece.

If a child chooses the same piece the current player is using, explain whether that piece will return to the pile. If it will stay on the outline, offer an available alternative or another round. A clear answer helps the child plan without a promise that cannot be kept.

If a player does not want a turn

When the marker reaches a player who says no, ask whether they want to watch, pass, or finish. A pass means the next person may act; it does not have to mean that the player can never return. Agree how to signal a wish to rejoin.

A child may also say no with a gesture or move away. Respect that signal. Do not move their hand or select a piece on their behalf to make the order look complete. The game remains a shared invitation rather than an obligation.

Restart with a different order

Return the pieces to the starting area if the players want another round. Move the second marker to the first position and explain the change: “Last time I began. This time you begin.” The child can arrange the markers or direct the adult.

Alternating who begins is one possible agreement, not a universal rule. A player might prefer the same position again. What matters is that the people involved understand and accept the order for the round they are playing.

Make the game easier

Start with one outline and one matching piece. The adult places it, returns it to the starting area, and offers the child a turn with the same piece. The action and its ending are visible, and there is no need to compare several shapes.

If moving the shape is difficult, the child can point to the outline or ask the adult to place it. If the markers are distracting, use a short phrase and point to the player instead. Stop after one exchange if that is enough for the child.

Add a choice when the group is ready

Offer two shapes and two outlines. The current player selects one and decides where it belongs. The next player chooses from what remains. If both shapes have already been placed, return them to the pile before starting another round.

A further option is for the child to explain the turn order to a new player or arrange the markers. Add one change at a time. If identifying shapes and remembering the order together is too demanding, return to one piece and a visible signal.

Separate the learning task from the turn

A child may need help matching the shape, even when the turn order is clear. Ask whether they want a hint: “Would you like to compare the outlines?” They can place the piece next to a candidate outline and inspect the edges. Their turn is still theirs while they decide.

A different child may match shapes easily but find the waiting difficult. Shorten the partner’s action or show the order more clearly. These are separate parts of the game; difficulty with one does not mean the child has failed at the other.

Use a matching game with pictures

Instead of shapes, draw a large picture of a cup and a large picture of a hat, with matching cards. Each player chooses one card and places it beside its match. The same turn rule applies: one choice and one placement, then the marker moves to the next person.

Use familiar pictures without assuming a child has a particular object at home. If a drawing is unclear, show the intended match before the game begins. A player can identify the picture by pointing or describing its use rather than naming it aloud.

Use a cooperative building game

Each player adds one large block to a shared structure, then passes the turn. Decide where the structure will stand and whether another player may move a block that has already been placed. The child can direct the adult to add a block if lifting it is difficult.

If the structure falls, stop and ask whether the players want to rebuild, change the plan, or finish. The fall does not automatically end a player’s turn unless that was the agreed action. Avoid turning the game into a contest for the tallest tower.

Respect personal objects

Before using a child’s favorite toy as a shared game piece, ask whether they want to include it. A child can say no. Use an available shared piece or a paper drawing instead. The activity does not require giving another person access to a treasured belonging.

If the owner agrees to lend the object, discuss how it will be used and when it will be returned. The other player may feel disappointed if the answer is no; an adult can acknowledge that feeling and offer another choice without taking the object.

Two children with different communication styles

One child may name the triangle while another points or uses a device. Both can choose a piece and signal when it is placed. Position the materials and communication tools where each participant can see or reach them, and leave time for responses.

The adult can check an unclear selection: “Are you choosing the circle?” Wait for confirmation before moving it. Do not compare response speed. If a child needs a partner to place the piece, the partner follows the child’s direction rather than making the choice.

A frequent mistake: an unclear ending

An adult may say “You can have a turn soon” while a game has no visible stopping point. The child cannot tell when soon arrives. Define a small action, such as placing one piece, and show what happens immediately afterward.

If the planned action turns out to be too long, ask the current player how to adjust it. The adult might bring the matching outline closer or offer help. Do not quietly change the rule after promising that the next player will act.

A frequent mistake: forgetting the promised turn

If an adult says “You are next,” the child should receive the agreed opportunity unless circumstances genuinely change. Use a marker if it helps the group remember. When the placement is complete, indicate the next player and offer the remaining pieces.

If the game must end before the promised turn, explain the change: “We have to put the materials away before your turn. You wanted to choose.” Acknowledge disappointment and avoid promising a later round unless it can actually happen.

When an agreement needs repair

If one player changes the order without telling the other, pause and describe what happened. Ask each person what they wanted. A possible repair is returning the piece and restoring the agreed order; another is agreeing on a new order before continuing.

Avoid requiring an apology as the only acceptable response. The child may need help understanding the sequence, expressing a wish, or making the situation workable. If either player no longer wants to play, ending the activity can be an appropriate resolution.

Notice what made the game understandable

Afterward, consider whether the end of a turn was visible, whether the pieces were accessible, and whether the child had a way to ask for help. A child who pointed to the next marker or requested a pause communicated useful information.

Do not count the number of turns as a measure of character or compare siblings. One short exchange may provide enough information to plan a clearer game next time. The activity alone is not an assessment of development.

Set up the matching board together

Let the child choose where the three outlines go on the page. Keep enough space around each outline for a piece and a hand, or for the adult to point without covering another choice. If the page moves, place it on a firm surface or secure a corner with removable tape.

Show the starting area for the loose shapes separately from the outlines. The players can place a large sheet beneath the pieces to mark that area. This visual distinction helps identify which pieces are still available without introducing another rule.

Before the first turn, each player can try pointing to or reaching the pieces. Move the board if needed. The child may choose to direct a partner, and that choice should be agreed before the game begins.

Try a turn without a physical marker

Some players prefer a verbal or gestured cue to an extra object on the table. The adult can point to the child and say, “Your turn to choose one shape.” Once the shape is placed, the adult points to themself and says, “Now I choose.” Use names or gestures the participants recognize.

If the order becomes confusing, introduce the two markers and show them in sequence. If the markers distract from the game, remove them. A support can be added or removed according to what actually helps the players understand each other.

A participant using a communication device can choose a message or symbol for the next player. Do not assume that one type of cue works for every child or every setting.

Respond when a match is uncertain

The child chooses a triangle and points to the square outline. Ask whether they want to try fitting the piece there. Place it beside the outline so the child can see the edges. Then offer the triangle outline as another possibility if the child wants help.

If the child decides to change the placement, the turn can continue until they consider the action finished. If they prefer to keep an imaginative arrangement, agree whether the game is still a matching game or has become a free design. Both players should know which activity they are playing.

Do not use an uncertain match as a reason to skip the child’s next turn. Matching shapes and following the agreed order are different skills. Support the relevant part without turning a mistake into a penalty.

Offer an activity while waiting without hiding the turn

A player who wants something to do may look at a remaining piece and choose the outline they will try. Keep the piece available until their turn. The adult can say, “You can choose the circle when the square is placed, if you still want it.”

Another player may prefer simply to watch. Do not require a distraction, and do not remove a necessary communication aid to enforce waiting. If the child changes their mind before the turn arrives, they can select another available piece.

If no piece the child wants will remain, explain that before the wait begins. Offer to return the pieces for another round only if the group has time and agrees to do so.

Use a turn to give an instruction

A player does not have to move a piece personally. During the child’s turn, they might say “Put the circle here” or indicate the circle and outline with a gesture. The adult repeats the intended action for confirmation, then places the piece where the child directs.

If the adult places it in the wrong spot, the child can point again or ask for a change. The turn ends when the child indicates the placement is finished. This gives the child control over the decision while allowing a partner to provide physical assistance.

For a later round, the adult can direct and the child can decide whether they want to move the piece. Roles can change without making either form of participation the standard everyone must meet.

Make a new agreement for three players

If three people want to join, use three distinct markers or name the order aloud. One possible sequence is child, adult, second child. Show the complete order before beginning, and define the same one-piece action for each person.

Three players may create a longer wait. Use a short action and provide enough pieces for everyone, or play in pairs if that is more comfortable. A child who does not want to wait can pass or leave the game with adult support.

For a second round, the players can discuss changing who begins. They do not need to follow a tournament or scoring system. The order is an agreement for the current activity and can be revised together.

A brief plan for the next game

Prepare a board and a few large pieces, then ask who wants to play. Agree on one action that ends a turn and on a way to indicate whose turn comes next. Invite the child to choose how to respond and show the first marker.

After one or two exchanges, ask whether the players want to continue. If the board is difficult to see or the wait feels too long, change the setup with the participants. Save the game materials only if they are useful for another occasion.

Continue on BrainHunters

If the child wants a separate screen activity, explore shapes on BrainHunters together and read the prompt that appears. Decide beforehand whether the child wants to control the device or direct an adult.

The tabletop game is separate and is not automatically recorded on the site. A screen is optional; the same turn-taking conversation can happen while choosing pieces, drawing together, or deciding how to build.